Sunday, 11 October 2015

The Annual Dinner

At the end of the Hundred Acre Wood CC's last match of the season,  Rabbit, the team's self-appointed skipper and opening bat, who was an animal of strong opinions and frequently cross, addressed the team.

The Annual Dinner of the Hundred Acre Wood CC

'Now I expect you all to attend the dinner,' he said crossly, waving his arms in his most captainly fashion. 'It is important that you show your support.'

'I don't wear a support',  from a dark and gloomy corner at the back of the room came a voice which sounded suspiciously like Eeyore's.

Rabbit crossly ignored the snigger that went round the room and waved his arms a bit more vigorously.

'There will be prizes for the best batter and best bowler.'

Pooh, who was the team's wicket keeper listened hard.  He quite liked the word dinner - it generally meant that there would be food available.   And food was always of interest to Pooh.  And Pooh was sure it must be very nice to get a prize. For he had nothing against prizes as far as they went.  He just thought that they didn't go far enough.

'Is there a prize for best wicket keeper?'  he asked.

'Of course not.   You're the only wicket keeper, so you would always win it.  What kind of prize would that be?'

Rabbit looked crossly at him and Pooh felt again that he must be a bear of very little brain.

'But......,' piped up a small voice. '................but...............,' it was Piglet, who batted number 3 although as a very small animal he didn't really like fast bowling.'..................but.................,' and as a small animal he was not very bold at speaking in public. '............but..............., you always win the best batter prize.'

'So?' said Rabbit even more crossly.  Piglet swallowed hard.  He was a back foot player and finding himself on the front foot made him feel uncomfortable.  He had no option but to swing through the line of the ball.

'Well,' he said a little squeakily, 'shouldn't it go to the batter that scores the most runs?  I got 43 not out in one match.'

Rabbit sighed and waved his arms again.  He was getting crosser by the minute. 'You only got that because Owl was umpire and he doesn't know the LBW law - you were really out 3 times.'

'But you were out for nought in every innings.'

'Only because Owl doesn't know the No Ball law.  You see the Committee has to take these things into account.'

Eeyore looked up gloomily from packing his kit.  He was the team's slow left arm bowler and had never won a prize either.

'Will the Committee take into account that I would have had a shedload of wickets and a couple of hattricks if the slip fielder hadn't dropped everything that came to him?'

Rabbit felt the eyes of the team turn towards him as one.  'I couldn't help that the sun was always in my eyes.'

He had explained many times to his team how all the best skippers stood at slip so they could read the game better.  Rabbit felt it was certainly true that at slip everyone could see you as you waved your arms in a skipperly fashion but reading the game at the same time took lots of concentration which was difficult when a bear of little brain stood beside him and continually asked whether it was nearly time for tea.

'Who is the Committee?' asked Pooh, who thought it might be able to make sure that there was honey on the dinner menu.

'I am, of course,' said Rabbit.  'I have to do all the work in this club.'  He added crossly in the manner of skippers everywhere.

Pooh and Piglet make their way home from the clubhouse.

Later Pooh and Piglet made their way home from the clubhouse.  After a long and thoughtful silence they began to speak.

'I expect the dinner will be lots of fun.'

'It usually is.'

'As long as you don't expect to win a prize.'

'And you know Rabbit really does do all the work......'

'....even if he can't bat....'

'.....or catch......'

'He does do all the work.'

'The team wouldn't work without him.'

'Yes, he deserves a prize.'

1 comment:

  1. I had no idea that cricket club annual dinners could be so interesting :-)