Wednesday, 22 May 2013

Top Pros in Spat

Spat over empire biscuits for dinner.
Fantasy Bob has called Sergio Garcia's "empire biscuit" remark "wrong, hurtful and clearly inappropriate".

Garcia, 33, had joked he would invite FB for dinner to settle their recent argument and would serve empire biscuits.

In a press conference on Wednesday, a contrite Garcia said: "Most importantly I want to apologise to FB, I feel sick about it and I'm truly sorry."

While Sergio Garcia and Tiger Woods have had a recent public spat following the The Players Championship earlier this month, when Garcia accused Woods of gamesmanship, little is known of any dispute between the fiery Spanish Ryder Cup player and the normally phlegmatic Fantasy Bob.

However insiders at go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton have revealed that Garcia's ire was ignited when he was overlooked for selection for the Carlton All Star's 4th XI opening fixture of the season.  They commented that Garcia's age told against him 'You have to be under 13 to get into the side these days.'

In a statement issued through his agent FB said he thought that Garcia's remark was an inappropriate stereotyping of himself as driven only by his love for empire biscuits.  However in a gesture of conciliation he also added that he would find an empire biscuit perfectly acceptable for dinner, or at any other time of day.

FB further clarified that he was uncertain whether he would play in the US Open this year.  He lost his golf ball the last time he played and had not replaced it yet. 


  1. Disappointing to hear that FB lost his ball on the last outing - should he make the Ryder Cup team next year he can be assured that extra balls will be available. After such an explosive confrontation, a pairing with Sergio on a 4-ball or doubles match would be worth a Sky subscription on its own.

    1. Many thanks FB is working hard to secure Ryder Cup qualification. He is confident he will overcome the limitation of not having a ball - whether he can overcome other limitations is more open to doubt.

    2. As a loon of some renown, has FB ever met a swivel-eyed one and ,if so, would it be an advantage to be one on the golf course?