Saturday, 2 June 2012


Some will say that go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton's Jubilee planning should have been more strategic.  Some will have said they could have seen this event coming for some time - 60 years in fact - and might have given themselves some time to consider how they should best mark it.  Some might suggest that for the club hastily to form a Jubilee Planning Committee the night before the event might smack of short termism. If not panic.  Others will observe that when the Committee's Chair and solitary member is Fantasy Bob, the Club is just taking the Michael.

However FB has grown into the role.  He has noted that when the Silver Jubilee happened in 1977, there was a special Jubilee Test between England and Australia at Lords.  This match, which ended in a draw and was graced by a fine century by Bob Woolmer and 7-78 by Bob Willis, produced record receipts for a cricket match in England.  There is no special Jubilee Test this year - have the marketeers missed something?  Or are all the Tests Jubilee Tests this year?

Nevertheless as newly appointed Chair and solitary member of the Carlton Jubilee Planning Committee Fantasy Bob promises that Grange Loan will be the epi-centre of the nation's Jubilee celebrations this weekend.

On Saturday, Grange Loan will see the Jubilee 2nd XI fixture against local rivals Grange.  Between innings there will be a Jubilee tea and after the match a Jubilee drink.

There will then be a Jubilee Concert with distinguished Club President and rap artist diZZee khaRTah will perform his tribute to the Queen's reign on the clubhouse roof.

Grange Loan will then be ringed in fire as Jubilee beacons are lit by teams of loyal pyromaniacs at various locations across Edinburgh.  FB has heard a rumour that Carlton's Doughty Groundsman has been stockpiling sticks and twigs behind the scorehut so he may well join in this part of the celebration.

Carlton's Jubilee Planning Committee is still waiting to hear from local traffic planners as to whether they will accept the Club's imaginative proposal that the Jubilee Boat Pageant should be redirected round the ground.  If for some reason this should fall through, FB has a CD of Handel's Water Music and a couple of model boats which will be the next best thing.

As if that is not enough Jubileeing, on Sunday Fantasy Bob will lead his All Stars Jubilee Fourth XI in their Jubilee fixture against Tranent.  FB texted Her Majesty asking whether she is available to turn out for the team - he thought she might fancy turning her arm over with a few overs from the bottom end.

She texted back
Hi Bob,
We are very sorry but we have to go to see the boats on Sunday so we can't make the match.  Let us know if you are short any other time - we fancy a game with Holy Cross cos they're just about in our age group.  Good luck and have a nice Jubilee tea.  We'll bake some empire biscuits and send them on.  Queenie.  PS we'll see what we can do about the Knighthood. LOL
However the Planning Committee has determined that all these tremendous celebrations will be distinct from all other celebrations of this great day.  They will be bunting free.

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