A spokesman for the club said, 'We are as concerned about security issues the London Olympic organisers. We recognise that this kind of device is a useful part of the armory. We thought it might be useful in Carlton's highly charged security environment. However when we tested it against the alternatives we had available, it was found wanting.'
The crack team of sonic researchers and security experts at Carlton's laboratories found the LRAD could not match the noise made by a team of under 11 cricketers appealing together for LBW. These piercing screams could be heard at distances of over 4000 metres and was excruciatingly painful to the eardrums, being measured at slightly above 150 decibels and, in the view of the experts, would immediately quell any riot in the vicinity of Grange Loan.