Tuesday, 29 May 2012

A Royal Scarecrow

Fantasy Bob has never met the Queen.  Nor has the Queen ever met Fantasy Bob.  This is a pretty poor effort on both their parts since he has been alive for most of her reign.  She has been close to his presence a couple of times - one time in particular is keenly etched in his memory, if not hers.

Too many years ago to mention, FB was playing cricket in the grounds of Balmoral Castle, where the Aberdeenshire club Crathie play.  As he dropped what to any other fielder was probably a sitter, he saw a tartan skirted, head-scarfed figure walking round the boundary pursued by a number of corgis.  Had he taken the catch might he have been favoured with royal congratulation?  Who knows?  As it was his hopes of preferment dropped to the grass with the ball.

It is not for that reason, or that reason alone, that FB is not a whole hearted monarchist.  He has therefore been lax in paying attention to the need to make preparation for the Jubilee which occurs next week.  Other more loyal subjects have not been so remiss.  Among the events that are being planned, FB has been intrigued to read of the Jubilee scarecrow competitions being held in many parts of rural England.  FB has no idea why this is deemed a fitting tribute to Her Majesty's longevity, but having dropped that catch in her presence he is in no position to criticise.

He did however notice that one entry in the competition in the village of Greater Budworth in Cheshire seems familiar and the model may be a less than royal personage.  FB has been bothered since the start of the season by paparazzi who have taken snaps of him in compromising positions and displaying them on the website of the go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton. His anonymity may be compromised and expert legal team are considering a superinjunction.  However the citizens of Greater Budworth have beaten the rap and have evidently been inspired by these pernicious images.

Royal Scarecrow

FB in action

No comments:

Post a Comment