Thursday, 26 April 2012

Watercress

Wonder food
Those among Fantasy Bob's worldwide readership of 3 who have followed these postings for longer than they ever intended, will be aware of the supreme physical exertion, not to say sacrifice, involved in FB completing his bowling spell up the hill and against the wind.  Emergency medical teams are on red alert.  He has at various times worried about the impact on his body.  Hydration, glucose levels, soft tissue strain, joint damage, bone spurs, ligament, tendon and vascular impacts have all concerned him.  He has even fretted about brain damage on occasion.  But he has never worried about damage to his DNA.  He did not think that was possible.  If he had a view about DNA he would have thought it pretty immutable unless exposed to mutation-causing-death-rays from a dalek, or a nuclear attack, or leg spin bowling.

But apparently FB has been uninformed.  Apparently free radical build up is the threat and free radicals can be unkind to DNA.  FB might have though that a free radical was Nelson Mandela, but that might be too obvious a gag so he will resist it.  It is free radicals in sun light that can do the bad stuff to skin.

The skipper in FB wonders how he will respond the next time one of his bowlers, when asked how he feels and if he is good for another over responds, 'Not really FB, I think the free radicals have built up a bit too much.'  A proper concern over health and safety would seem to require FB to respond by removing the bowler from the area of risk.  However FB is more likely to tell his bowler not to be such a big girl's blouse and make sure he puts some effort into the next six deliveries for a change.  Legal action would no doubt follow.

But aid is at hand and it comes in a simple form.  Researchers at Napier University in Edinburgh have announced that they have established that eating watercress (or nasturtium officinale to those in the know) can counter the build up of these nasty free radicals thus forestalling the risk DNA damage.

Fantasy Bob is therefore in discussion with the team of crack sports nutritionists stationed at go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton to ensure that the proper availability of watercress is a priority.   Unfortunately the nutritional team has been unable to source a supply of watercress topped empire biscuits.  But they have suggested that a bowl of watercress soup should made available to FB between overs.  The obligatory drinks break will be complemented by watercress breaks when a small watercress salad will be  served.

However FB's negotiations with the Doughty Groundsman have been less successful. The DG has so far resisted FB's suggestion that part of the square might be given over to the cultivation of this newly identified superfood.  He suggested that should FB repeat this suggestion his DNA might find itself forcibly rearranged through direct contact with the scarifier.

6 comments:

  1. The DG wonders where all this going to end. There seems to be a new so-called wonder food every week. He has a feeling that last week it was beetroot. He says he is certainly not going to turn his beloved square into a market garden for food fashionistas.

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    1. FB has long taken the approach that all food is wonderful - some more wonderful than others admittedly - but the point stands. Fashion is of dubious relevance. But he will not approach the DG on this sensitive issue unless of course scientists prove that the only place that empire biscuits can be grown is in ground of such character.

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  2. ....... and there is always alf-alfa, or bet-beta as it is known since being downgraded by the ratings agencies.

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    1. FB doesn't think you should be too moody about this.

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  3. Excellent posting you have about brochure printing . All matches is more important. By overnight prints

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