Wednesday, 28 March 2012


Odysseus and the Sirens
 - contemporary photo
Every cricketer knows that it was Oscar Wilde who said 'I can resist anything but temptation', as he airily wafted at another half volley wide of off stump and dollied it straight to extra cover.

Every cricketer also knows of how Homer tells of Odysseus passing the rocky islands where the Sirens sang their beautiful songs enticing sailors to their doom. Odysseus was curious to hear the beautiful music in live concert - he couldn't find it to download onto his i-Pod. So he had all his sailors plug their ears with beeswax and lash him to the mast. He ordered his men to leave him tied tightly to the mast, no matter how much he begged. When he heard their beautiful song, he ordered the sailors to untie him but they bound him tighter.  Good lads.

Fantasy Bob was in the sports shop the other day purchasing a couple of minor items.  As any cricketer would he strolled into the section where the cricket gear is displayed.  Not that he needed particular...................

There hung the new bats gleaming white and clean.  And from within their ranks, FB heard that siren voice - the most beautiful song ever sung.  For there was the new GN100, the Gray Nicolls Scoop Long Handle singing its seductive song.

Hear the music
This looked much like the GN100 that served FB so well for many years.  It looked good with none of those flashy go faster stripes that deface bats these days.  He picked it up.  It seemed significantly thicker, as is the way with bats these days.  But in other respects it was perfect, and it felt good in FB's hands, reminding him of runs scored in distant sunshine when the world was a simpler place - until after many years faithful service it split in mid cover drive.  FB's life has never quite been the same.  The singing became more intense and more beautiful...............

And then FB's sailors came and tied him firmly to the mast - or rather the beguiling vision of Mrs FB came to him and reminded him that he had already acquired a new bat for this season at enormous expense and if thinks he needs anymore cricket stuff cluttering the place up.................

But it was a close thing.


  1. Mrs FB is such a spoilsport. Perhaps FB could perform a similar service on her next outing to the jewellers. This is the age of equality, after all.

    1. FB might prefer to face Curtley Ambrose than put himself in such a perilous position - equality or no equality.