Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The Fitewash

The airwaves from UAE have been full of references to whitewash following Pakistan's trouncing of the Number 1 Test nation in their 3 match series.  But Fantasy Bob is interested to learn that one voice amongst the triumphant team might well be using a different pronunciation.

In rural Aberdeenshire, the hinterland of FB's north east childhood, where a pure and easily understood form of language called the Doric is used, the letters 'wh' at the start of a word are pronounced 'f.'  So a whitewash in Aberdeenshire is a fitewash, just as the region's celebrated greeting 'Fit like min?' can be literally translated as 'What like man?'  (Should readers be so addressed, they may wish to know that the allowable answers to this inquiry are - 'Nae bad foo's yersel'  (Not bad, how are you yourself?) or 'Jist chauvin'on' (Struggling by).......but FB digresses..........Fit a surprise....)

Ali - just a Huntly loon
Huntly is one of the larger towns in rural Aberdeenshire and a fine place it is too, home amongst other things to the Gordon Highlanders and Deans Shortbread.  Jim Naughtie of Radio 4's Today programme is one of its proud sons. Among its many attractions, Huntly boasts a highly successful and thriving cricket club.  Over several recent years, the club enjoyed the services of Azhar Ali - the very same Azhar Ali whose 157 in the 3rd Test was largely responsible for Pakistan's eventual victory.  He has put Huntly on the cricketing map

Raul Dravid, Ed Cowan, George Bailey and now Azhar Ali - international cricket is increasingly awash with players who have experienced Scottish conditions.  These are more recent additions to a strong tradition on which FB has posted previously.  

And who's to say that the experience in those conditions has not helped them refine their technique on what are sometimes difficult surfaces?  Maybe Ian Bell would benefit from a spell in God's country?

FB has not heard Azhar interviewed, but he is sure that having passed so many of his formative years in Huntly he would have a touch of the Doric about him and would readily agree that after the 'fitewash' he was 'feeling affa fine at scoring a puckle o' runs'.  He is after all 'just an orra loon daein' fit he can for the team.'

FB says to Ali, 'Well done, loon.  You're a credit to Huntly and to Aberdeenshire.'


  1. I am reminded of the perplexed Aberdonian in a shoe shop - fit fit fits fit fit?