Saturday, 9 April 2011

The Grand National

Fantasy Bob has never been a betting man, nor yet a racing man.  The excitement of the Grand National therefore flows over him like so much Ovaltine, inducing somnolence and lassitude. In his view it is a great failure of policy that this event is preserved for terrestial broadcasters whereas Test cricket is confined to the broadcasters from outer space.  So incensed is FB that he has been considering for some time writing a letter to someone about it.

Mrs Fantasy Bob on the other hand has studied the form and has staked her jewellery futures on some nattily named nag she judges likely to prevail in the extreme test of the 4.5 mile race.   She will have her nose to the screen for the duration and may require careful counselling in the immediate aftermath.

Fantasy Bob is also aware that the annual race meeting at Aintree is traditionally a focus for the Animal Rights Activist movement.  This is not a movement with whom FB holds much sympathy - their policy stance which allows leg spinners to torment lower league batsmen still seems to him to lack a certain resolve.

However this year he suddenly realises what they are on about.  FB has seen stomach-churning evidence of the cruellest of cruel treatment of unsuspecting creatures at Aintree.  He is quite weak at the knees as he attempts to understand how in these so called enlightened times such barbaric behaviours are allowed to take place in full public view.  Only a mind desensitised to the extreme degree could have an appetite for such horror.  FB therefore joins with the Animal Activists to call for an immediate end to these cruel outrages. Ladies Day at Aintree must be stopped. 

Oh dear,

oh dear,

oh dear.


  1. Point taken. However, having studied the form, FB might fancy a punt on the high-stepping filly in the red colours coming through on the outside - assuming Mrs FB doesn't object of course.

  2. FB will have to seek legal advice before commenting further. However he fears that some of these fillies may have had to be destroyed following the race thus proving the Animal Activists' point.