Wednesday, 12 January 2011

Panda Bonanza for Edinburgh cricket club

There was quiet excitement in the senior ranks of go ahead Edinburgh cricket club Carlton yesterday as they  announced the successful conclusion to the long search for an overseas amateur for the coming season.

A delighted club official told the world's media gathered outside its Grange Loan HQ that, during his visit to the UK, the Chinese Vice Premier Li Keqiang confirmed that the Chinese government will send the eminent Chinese all rounders Tian Tian and Yangguang to Grange Loan. 

The official said, 'OK, they're a pair of Pandas, and they've no Test experience as such, but the Chinese cricket authorities have assured us that they can play a bit.  And when it comes to eating bamboo at the end of the innings they're the business.'

Carlton's new player pacing out his run up
Carlton will be the first UK club to play pandas for 17 years and will be one of only 4 in Europe.  Just 7 clubs worldwide hold panda loan agreements from China. 

Officials believe the arrival of the pandas will bring great benefits to the club.  'We expect handfuls of people to come to Edinburgh specifically to see the pandas open the bowling from the bottom end.'

The official also revealed to Fantasy Bob that the club was studying Edinburgh Zoo's successful penguincam through which a worldwide audience can track the zoo's flock of penguins through their daily routines.  It is considering a similar facility to allow fans a window on the rituals of highly popular doughty groundsman Magnus Moon.  The World Wildlife Fund have praised this imaginative move.  A spokesperson said, 'Doughty groundsmen are an endangered species - we welcome any move to bring the full majesty of this magnificent specimen to a wider audience.'


  1. Magnus tells me that he welcomes this development. He does know, however, of groundsmen who would resist because they want to oreserve the illusion of their practising black, and secret, arts.

  2. Iain - thanks - shame on these secretive souls - they sound like civil servants.