Fantasy Bob is pleased to report that has the exclusive rights to a source inside the England camp – Paul Collingwood’s sock. This will allow FB to bring his readers crucial insights into the mood in the dressing room as the tour hots up.
Speaking exclusively, if a little breathlessly, to FB after the tour's opening victory against Western Australia, the sock reported that ‘The boys are pleased. Straussy and Swanny delivered biggy timey and Broady and Pieterseny too. But Andersony and Finny have still to show that they can be a threaty in Australiany conditions.' FB asked 'What about Cooky?' and the sock replied, '.........er, do you have to bring biscuits into everything?’
Meanwhile on the back of his first innings 58, KP has reported that he is ‘on fire’ in Australia . The management will have to take care and not let him go into the outback – Australia has suffered enough from bush fires in recent years. It would be too easy for an arsonist simply throw down a smouldering KP and drive away.
England also made much of not gloating on the Aussies' record losing streak ‘We’re not gloating,’ they gloated in collective team tweets. Just as well since the Aussies ground Sri Lanka down in the last one dayer before the Ashes. Ponting sat that one out – suggestions that he would play for Tasmania didn’t happen although Saltires' fans will note that a certain G Bailey got 51 in a routine victory over Queensland.
And the Australian press is getting right behind their team, an editorial in the Herald Sun launched off a eulogy of praise for them
"Over-rated, over-indulged and, in some cases, overpaid...not a great formula if you are trying to assemble a winning cricket team. Australian cricket has lost its mojo because it lacks the talent and has become soft and indulgent. Many players are getting huge money and national caps without earning either."
It could be the Daily Record on Scottish football.
Finally, Shane Watson has been studying tapes of Ian Botham and Freddie Flintoff for inspiration for the coming series. Shares in brewery companies are reported to have rallied on stock markets around the world.