Fantasy Bob understands that top management at Carlton are resigned to losing out in their imaginative venture to bring Wayne Rooney to Grange Loan.
'Negotiations had reached an advanced stage', a reliable source informed him. 'Carlton's medical team was giving Rooney a health check since we were concerned that his recent drop in form was attributable to serious damage to his loyalty ligament following an attempted tackle on an obscene amount of money.'
However talks were called off last night when it was discovered the damaged ligament had responded to a radical new treatment called the Ferguson Stroke. Rooney stays at Manchester United and his next innings is eagerly awaited by all those well wishers who thoughtfully sent him death threats to aid his recovery from injury.